If you're a man back on the dating scene, it's important to understand the changes that have happened with dating, to ensure you're set up for success in finding new love.
We're currently experiencing a complete transformation within dating culture, and it's the single men in their 50s and 60s who are experiencing the greatest challenges in adapting to the change. A learned mindset is far more challenging to shake off when it's something that's been ingrained for 50 plus years, which is why younger men appear to be acclimatising with more ease.
The #MeToo movement, growing financial independence and career parity have given women of all ages and status a new self-assurance. The poor behaviour, crass comments and unintentional sexism that was once glossed over in the past is now rarely tolerated. Women want to date the men who see them as equal partners, not domestic servants or free childcare.
The men who have succeeded in rewiring their mindset (or who simply never held on to those dated tropes) have been rewarded with wonderful new romance opportunities. Dating a woman of the same age for an accomplished man in his 50s or 60s is considered to be far more appropriate than courting someone younger and/or less of an equal. Of course, women over 50 always knew they had so much to give and to offer their counterpart males, it’s just that now they are far more adept at not remaining quietly invisible.
Seeking direction and guidance is not something that always comes easily or naturally to the 50+ man, which is why morphing into a new age of dating etiquette and approach has probably been more of an arduous task for some.
However, help is at hand - happiness, fulfilment and contentment is there for the taking, for the guys who are progressive and curious enough to consider trying new routes to finding love.
The founder of Club Gorgeous - Lorraine Adams – has put together 6 tips to help men in their 50’s and 60’s navigate their way through the new dating revolution.
1. Seek dating advice from the experts: Accepting guidance and dating advice has become more popular with younger men and guys in their 50’s are also beginning to open up to the idea that asking for help can bring new hope. Maclynn is one of the largest and most successful matchmaking brands in the UK. They have a great series of masterclasses, including: ‘5 Steps to relationship success.’ They help singles to figure out what they want from dating, empowering them to make their goals a reality. In this masterclass, dating experts share a five step methodology and the tools to help participants become their very own 'matchmaker.'
2. Move away from the most familiar dating apps: Typically most big-name dating apps have far more male users than females, with some seeing the gender split by as much as 80% men, to just 20% women. This only gives a small percentage of the men using the apps a look in. Try one of the newer dating apps, such as Genie Connections, that equally gear their app features towards men and women to attract a more equal male/female ratio. Men will have a far greater chance of meeting more women when there are more women in the dating pool to begin with.
3. Gain more insight about what your target women are seeking: If you are seeking a particular type of woman, it's not rocket science to figure out that you have to learn and understand what that particular type of woman is looking for. Women are no longer compromising their asks and expectations. In a recent survey conducted by Select Connections, the matchmaking service that specialises in introductions between professional and vibrant 50+ singles, it was discovered that 78% of women over 50 that were polled said they would rather remain single than embark on a relationship with a man who was lacking in their basic expectations.
4. Aim to meet in person within a week of connecting: Tiffany Thomas who runs one of the best matchmaking agencies in the North – Intro-NW.com advises that when you start a text conversation with a potential new suitor, be it someone you have connected with on a dating app or someone you have been introduced to, don’t delay meeting up in person. Meeting someone face to face will undoubtedly allow you to get better acquainted and understand whether the deeper level personality traits and values that you are seeking are there.
5. Avoid casual relationships in your 50s: Jumping from one partner to another in your younger years might be exciting and have helped you to learn and discover what you are ultimately seeking in a relationship. However, continuing this kind of dating behaviour on a regular basis for men in their 50s is not a good look and can seriously damage your self-esteem. Practice getting to know someone through the art of conversation, rather than intimacy.
6. Invest in a matchmaking service: Many men are choosing to work with a matchmaker instead of spending endless time and energy on dating apps. Select Connections specialises in bringing together 50+ men and women through their matchmaking services and events. For gay men seeking long term relationships, try The Echelon Scene.